And The Winners of the 800 Follower Contest Are…
@shala_darkstone & Maggie Gibson!
All in all, there were 23 entries – not bad for my first contest – and the winners were picked via Random.org. And there will be plenty of chances to win again, as I’m going to run a book contest every time I hit a new 100 follower milestone. So stay tuned – I’m at 841 followers right now, which means it’s not long ’til the 900 giveaway!
Congrats to Shala & Maggie! I’ll update with the books they choose once I have the details.
Thanks, everyone!
Read More800 Followers Means Giveaway Time!
I just hit the big 800 on Twitter–however transient it may be–so it’s time to celebrate. And the best way to celebrate? Giving away stuff!
Here’s the deal:
Tweet your fave book ever (not the book you want to win, we’ll work that out later!) @PetaAndersen by Friday at Midnight EST to go into a random draw to win a YA or MG novel off my shelves. Two books are on offer–choices are listed below. You can get an extra entry by:
- Re-tweeting this giveaway
- Blogging about this giveaway
- Sharing/liking it on facebook (scroll to the bottom for the “like” button)
- Becoming a fan of *ILBNH* on facebook (there’s a widget in the sidebar!)
- Leaving a comment below with one line about your favorite book
Folks, please post links to your blog post &c., or comment on how you shared to help me keep track of who’s done what. Thanks!
Tip: Make sure you’re following me so I can DM you details if you win. People not on Twitter can still enter by doing any one of the above (I <3 hearing why folks love the books they do, so 4. is a good way to go!), and leaving their email addy (e.g. janeisawesome[at]gmail.com) in the comments below.
Winners will be announced sometime on Monday or Tuesday, depending on how many extra entries I get.
Here are the 5 novels on offer, a mix of old and new:
- Luka and the Gods of Fire, Salman Rushdie
- The Incorrigbles, Book 1, The Mysterious Howling, Mary Rose Wood (I! loved! this! book!) If you’ve read Mysterious Howling, though, I love this book so much I’ll ship you a copy of book 2 as soon as it hits shelves, sometime this week of next week.
- In honor of Brian Jacques, a Redwall novel of your choice
- Queen of Babble, Meg Cabot–this isn’t YA but rather New Adult, aka YA flavor with slightly more adult content
- The Spiderwick Chronicles, Holly Black
And that’s all for now! I’ll be back, later again (yes, that’s 3 posts in one day! Almost a record for me!) with a post on award shortlists. Remember–tweet your fave book ever @PetaAndersen (aka me) to enter!
Update, 2:23 pm:edited to clarify details
Read MoreErma Bombeck Writing Competition
The Washington-Centerville Public Library is running an Erma Bombeck writing competition. Writers can submit 450 words in two categories – human interest and humor.
From the site:
A personal essay “deals lightly, often humorously, with personal experiences, opinions, and prejudices, stressing especially the unusual or novel in attitude and having to do with the various aspects of everyday life.” ˜Phillip Lopate, The Art of the Personal Essay.
Erma Bombeck inspired people worldwide with her columns and books about life’s trials and tribulations. Her memory lives on in the Erma Bombeck Writing Competition hosted every two years by the Washington-Centerville Public Library and the University of Dayton.
Over 1,300 writers from around the world entered the 2008 competition!
Hop on over here to get the rest of the details. Want more Erma? Sign up for the freeErma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop e-mail newsletter.
Contest: The Binnacle Annual Ultra-Short Competition
Starting in December, the University of Maine at Machias is opening its virtual doors to ultra-shorts – i.e. “prose works of 150 words or fewer and poetry of sixteen lines or fewer and fewer than 150 words”.
Writing a story in 150 words or fewer can be a lot of work, so don’t leave it too late to start! Submissions close in February, and there’s up to $300 in prizes. Get the details here.
Read MoreHunter: re-working the protagonist
As we saw yesterday, the biggest problem with my Flash Fiction Chronicles string-of-10 entry was connection – the judges didn’t feel a connection to my main character. Or, to be more blunt, they just didn’t care about her.
So, what is it that makes us care about a character? To my mind, these are the big four:
- Recognition. It’s easier for us to care about someone in whom we see parts of ourselves.
- Relatability. Similar to recognition, this is about getting inside a character’s head – we can see their point of view, or the reasoning behind their actions.
- Character. Seems silly, right, talking about the character of a character? Maybe. But a character’s voice, tics, and other unique traits help us care, much the same way we might hate the way a loved one snores, but be unable to imagine them any other way.
- Knowledge. Knowing about a character’s background can make a huge difference. For example – let’s say I’m writing a story about Jenny, and have just killed off her dog. It’s all terribly sad, but not that big a deal, since, well, Jenny’s just a few words on a page. Now, the moment I start to write about why the dog was important (Daisy saw her through the hard times, was there when she finalised her divorce from Evil-UFO-Abductee Husband, stayed by her side when she was diagnosed with an allergy to chocolate &c. &c.), it becomes a lot easier to sympathise with Jenny’s loss.
Of course, now comes the tricky part – applying the big four to my own work. (Re-read Hunter and the judges’ comments here.)
What do we know?
- the main character is a woman
- she’s been abused
- her husband drinks too much
- she’s desperate
- she believes in magic/magic exists in this world
Although that may seem like a lot to learn about anyone in 239 words, a lot of the reader-character connection is cancelled out by virtue of the story, i.e. wife seeks revenge, being very familiar (think Hera, Clytmenestra, &c. &c.).
Paragraph 1
Sweat beads on the drum, catching on my fingers, coating them in rough animal smell. “It’s deer,” the dealer tells me, ”from hunters in the north. They don’t waste nothin’, them hunters. Deer means meat for summer, jerky for winter, an’ leather an’ other goods for me.” He leans in close. “Betcha you can guess who gots the better deal.” I try not to gag at the stench of ale on his breath; it isn’t hard. After so many years with Him, I’m used to it.
Old line: “After so many years with Him, I’m used to it.”
A bit bland – adding specifics might give this paragraph a bit more punch, and give my main character more of a voice.
New line: “After ten years of Ewan and his drink, I’m used to it. I was used to it the day after we were married.”
Paragraphs 2 & 3
Handing over my coin, I take the drum and head home. In my pocket are the instructions, fresh from Herself. I glance at the paper the woman gave me. The words are hard to make out; the paper is streaked with smoke and charcoal stains. I set the drum down carefully, then beat the tattoo ‘til blood rises to my cheeks and I know it’s time.
Kicking up clouds of umber, I follow the paper’s directions, stepping left then right, kicking forward, forward, back. Herself’s sketches are crude, but they do the job. Sinking farther into the movements, I start to enjoy myself. Storm clouds scud across the sky. My heart races.
These lines tell us little, except that the woman can follow directions. Writing about her nails helps create a sense of tension, and gives the reader some aspect of her appearance to cling to.
Old Line: The words are hard to make out; the paper is streaked with smoke and charcoal stains.
New line: The words are hard to make out; the paper is streaked with smoke and charcoal stains. I scratch at them with my nails, but they’re too torn, too ragged to make a difference.
Paragraphs 4 & 5
I wonder if he’s feeling it yet – if his heart beats with mine, if his skin is growing ruddier with the effort of each breath. In the house, there’s a thud, followed by a low groan.
She’d promised it’d be quick.
I’m all right with the first of these lines – there’s nothing wrong with telling the reader what’s happening. But the last one is weak, especially for such a short piece. Why? It doesn’t reveal anything about the main character.
Old line: She’d promised it’d be quick.
New line: I go home.
I’m still not sure about this new line, but I think it’s better than the old one. To me, it says that the main character has reclaimed her home for the first time in ten years. I kind of want to write more, but now, with the new lines and a few tweaks, Hunter is bang on the 250 word limit. I’m also iffy because this means two consecutive paragraphs begin the same way – something I try to avoid unless I’m creating emphasis. I think the emphasis works here, but I’m not sure.
Another, somewhat obvious way to create connection is to give characters names. I chose not to for this piece intentionally – for most flash fiction, I think a little anonymity helps create a sense of immediacy, especially when working in the present tense. What do you think?
And now, the re-worked Hunter:
Sweat beads on the drum, catching on my fingers, coating them in rough animal smell. “It’s deer,” the dealer tells me, ”from hunters in the north. They don’t waste nothin’, them hunters. Meat for summer, jerky for winter, leather an’ all for me.” He leans in close. “Betcha you can guess who gots the better deal.” I try not to gag at the stench of ale on his breath; it isn’t hard. After ten years of Ewan and his drink, I’m used to it. I was used to it the day after we were married.
Handing over my coin, I take the drum and head home. In my other hand are instructions, fresh from Herself. The words are hard to make out, the paper streaked with smoke and charcoal stains. I scratch at them with my nails, but they’re too ragged to make a difference. I set the drum down carefully, then beat the tattoo ‘til blood rises to my cheeks and I know it’s time.
Kicking up clouds of umber, I follow the instructions, stepping left then right, kicking forward, forward, back. Herself’s sketches are crude, but they do the job. Sinking farther into the movements, I start to enjoy myself. Storm clouds scud across the sky. My heart races.
I wonder if he’s feeling it yet – if his heart beats with mine, if his skin is growing ruddier with the effort of each breath. In the house, there’s a thud, followed by a low groan.
I go home.
What do you think? Any tips? How do you create a connection to your protagonists?
[Miss yesterday's post about this story? See it here.]
Hunter: a flash fiction critique
So here’s Hunter. I was a bit surprised at what the prompt words brought out – it’s a bit rougher than I expected. It’s 239 words, just under the 250 word contest limit.
Can you guess what the prompt words were?
Sweat beads on the drum, catching on my fingers, coating them in rough animal smell. “It’s deer,” the dealer tells me, ”from hunters in the north. They don’t waste nothin’, them hunters. Deer means meat for summer, jerky for winter, an’ leather an’ other goods for me.” He leaned in close. “Betcha you can guess who gots the better deal.” I try not to gag at the stench of ale on his breath; it isn’t hard. After so many years with Him, I’m used to it.
Handing over my coin, I take the drum and head home. In my pocket are the instructions, fresh from Herself. I glance at the paper the woman gave me. The words are hard to make out; the paper is streaked with smoke and charcoal stains. I set the drum down carefully, then beat the tattoo ‘til blood rises to my cheeks and I know it’s time.
Kicking up clouds of umber, I follow the paper’s directions, stepping left then right, kicking forward, forward, back. Herself’s sketches are crude, but they do the job. Sinking farther into the movements, I start to enjoy myself. Storm clouds scud across the sky. My heart races.
I wonder if he’s feeling it yet – if his heart beats with mine, if his skin is growing ruddier with the effort of each breath. In the house, there’s a thud, followed by a low groan.
She’d promised it’d be quick.
Prompts:
STRING OF TEN: BLOW BACK-STORM-JAUNDICE-STEAM-TATTOO-SENSE OF FUN-CANTALOUPE-STREAKED-UMBER-DRIPPING SWEAT
QUOTATION: And when is there time to remember, to sift, to weigh, to estimate, to total? –Tillie Olsen
And now, the judges’ comments. Do you agreee? Disagree? Have something else to add? Let me know in the comments.
Camille says:
Some very nice imagery and tension, but I had trouble understanding this piece. Even after several reads, I’m not quite sure who Herself is. It appears to be a revenge piece, which are generally all too common in slush piles, and I’m not sure how it fits with the prompt quote.
Sarah says:
Nicely told with sparing and effective descriptions, but I didn’t feel enough for the main character so it fell a bit flat at the end.
Gay says:
I want to like this piece a lot. The voice and the descriptions both strike me as very good. However, I didn’t really understand what was going on. There is a revenge element but I don’t have enough information to care. I particularly like the fact that the word “tattoo” was used as sound rather than the more common literal meaning. It suggests to me there is skill here and craft.
In case you’re wondering, I think the judges are spot on about the lack of connection in this story. Next time, I’ll explore a few ways to create that missing element.
